How I Felt About Doing Things God’s Way
It’s no secret that I have grown accustomed to telling God exactly how I feel. The whole second and third quarter God was getting an ear full from your girl. I am surprised that God wanted me to share this post out of all that has taken place this year thus far(read my latest Instagram post). I know why He wanted me to share this though. So, let’s get to it.
It’s not many believers sharing their true thoughts out loud on what it’s like walking this faith walk. Sharing their emotions on doing things God’s way. Sharing how it feels walking in obedience, especially when you want to do the opposite. No, we all, yes I said we all. Not just us millennials but the older generation too are so prone to leaving out the nitty gritty of our walk at times. It’s not all peaches and cream folks. It’s a lot. No matter what someone tells you or what you see as they post their day’s with God, their bible studies and stuff on social media.
I am going to be the first to tell you how I really was feeling doing things God’s way. Your girl was beyond angry, frustrated, confused, doubtful, and fearful. Yes, I said all of that to God and even broke down why. Of course God used those moments to teach me why I had to go the route I was going. He taught me the importance of obedience. He used those moments to speak to those emotions and uproot the root of them all.
This was me before I got told what to do, and then boom!
It all started when God said “Go where you're needed and not where the money is.” As I was praying on getting a new job and wanting to be out of the education field. I was like what? You know I need more money. You know I have prayed for certain things in the realm of finances. You know the lifestyle I desire God. So, why would you tell me that? Then it boiled over to me comparing my life with others. Getting angry that everyone seems to be prospering. Getting frustrated that I have to go different routes. Confused as to why me. Doubtful that God’s promises will come to pass. Fearful that it will always be this way for me. God convicted me of the idols I was worshiping such as money, success,accolades, and societal clocks and timelines.
Of course God told me to stay in education and He told me why with these scriptures.
“13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
“Toil Is Meaningless
17 So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. 18 I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me.”
Of course no one wants to take the narrow route. The narrow route Matthew is speaking on is not popular, but it's the only route to eternal life. It’s the route that God wants you to take with Him. His ordained route for your life. This route leads to life and not many find it or take it when they have the chance. Solomon had all the riches in the world. He had a resume of great accomplishments, and yet he hated his life! Solomon was now looking at his life and realizing that all his accomplishments, money, fruit, gave him no satisfaction. He chased after the wrong things. Yes, it got him the money and everything he desired, but his soul was empty.
There are so many scriptures that speak to my issue, but God illuminated these for me. He reminded me that going against the grain was painful and difficult because it conflicts with the ideas, beliefs, and principals I have been taught within society. God had to let me know that as long as I kept chasing the bag I would always be toiling and unsatisfied. God had to remind me that yes I will always be in education because my blessings and reward are not superficial. I will always be blessed though because I am going where God tells me. He showed me by allowing every job opportunity I thought I had in July close right before my eyes. I mean I was offered a job and next thing I know they took the job offer back. So many no’s only to get one “yes.” I applied to be in the co teacher pool for Baltimore City Schools. That same day in the evening I received a phone call for an interview at an elementary/middle school for the next day August 12, 2023. I said I will get hired on the spot that morning, and that is exactly how it happened!!!! The principal even told me that I will be teaching next year because she knows a revolutionary teacher when she sees one. I mean she stopped mid interview to tell me what she saw on/in me since I walked in. God is good!
Now, I am back in the classroom a bit frustrated. Why am I with these little kids? I can’t stand teaching little kids. You know God had to shut me up. God told me I am teaching second grade because they were my age when seeds of “you are not smart enough” and “you are not going to go far” were spoken over my life. God says reverse it. You are now here to plant truthful seeds into these kids' lives! He reminded me of my mission scripture.
“10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”
I try to put sticky notes on the kids desk every morning speaking life into them. Planting and depositing truthful and encouraging seeds into them.
So, here I am doing the opposite of Solomon and have my emotions in check. Even when I am frustrated I know that my career is serving and glorifying God. My paycheck may be lesser, but my eternal reward is greater. My life may look dry and less than, but I will forever have an abundant life because I chose to walk with God. I will always be blessed because I know God. will always be blessed because I am in alignment. I will always have joy and be satisfied at the end of the day because I am doing God’s work within my positions. One teacher told me last week as I was talking to a student in the hallway “Ms. Brooks, you are more than a teacher.” I thanked God in the bathroom because now that I am in an actual answered prayer working for BCPS and an educator, this is my calling and it’s pouring out of me. God I am so thankful. I pray that you will choose the narrow route too!
