She’s Intentional

Faith

Sep 29

Intentional is defined as done on purpose; deliberate. Intentional is an adjective. A word that describes the traits, quality, or number of a noun. As this month marks the end of the third quarter. God has been positioning me for about a month now on the focus for the fourth quarter. I (noun) am being intentional (adjective) within my journey on becoming the woman that God created me to be.

Being intentional is all about releasing and renewing! I am releasing what no longer serves me. The dead things. I am releasing my negative mindset, my anger, my broken heart, my negative self-talk, my timeline, my past, the glasses I have been viewing myself through, but the most important thing I am releasing is … the systems I have created inwardly. A system is defined as a set of things that work together as part of a mechanism or interconnecting network. I have created a system of unbelief, doubt, anger, wanting to be loved, approval, perfectionism, and comparison. To be honest I was angry with myself and God. I looked at Him and cried out “why are so many people getting blessed, but me? Daddy so many people want things for the wrong reasons and here I am with pure motives. I am longing to break cycles with my blessings, but I am not getting anything.” I had the thought that I was doing something wrong and that’s why I wasn’t getting blessed. That caused a system of performance and perfectionism. All of these systems have been controlling the few things I mentioned above. How I feel/see about myself, how I view God, my cycles with relationships, my patterns with money, and my worth and how I measure it, etc. I created these systems and I have the power along with God to crack the system. I have the power to heal. I have the power to change the narrative I tell myself. I have the power to bust out of my emotional, mental, and spiritual prison cells I trapped myself in. The door is open and all God wants me to do is walk through it and never look back. That is what I am doing. I am renewing my mind and creating healthy systems to work together for my good!

I can do this now because something has shifted in me. I mentioned in an older blog post that I am in a critical space within my journey, and the pivot is here. It’s do or die for your girl. You know I aim to be my authentic self, so here we go. I have been the most anxious (worrisome) and depressed since August 1st that I have been in a while. I think this time was worse than 2017. I was in serious isolation. It was caused by me in some ways, but God showed up to speak like never before, so I know it was needed! God also had to correct me on certain things. He taught me on inheritance, money, value, idols, promises, and fruit. I had to get proper instructions on releasing. Scriptures that I have always read came alive to me in new ways. I learned new scriptures. I needed this time of correction. I needed this time of repentance. I needed this time of absolute clarity!

Being in this place I came in agreement with God that I am the problem. The systems are still up and running within me because I am giving them the power to. I have not dug down deep within myself to STOP the cycles and systems I have created. I may be on fire for a while, but then I go right back to letting the systems of unbelief, comparison, rejection, low self-esteem, shame, inadequacy, and the spirit of lack WIN. God and I were wrestling for a month. He was speaking to me that I am more than a conquer. I have everything within me to crack these systems. I just have to believe that I can do it. I just have to change mentally to do it, and that takes discipline, self-compassion, awareness, boundaries, the full armor of God, and godly strength.

I am up for the challenge because sis, I don’t want to go back into that state. I was a mess. No, I didn’t cry myself to sleep like last time. Instead the spirit of torment was tearing me down one by one. I felt hopeless. I felt defeated. I felt so low. I was drained because the lies were coming in like a flood. My energy was gone. I will say that only God was able to get me up everyday. I needed Him like never before. I clung to His word, to His truth, to prayer, to His love, and to worship during this time. Without God and His love for me, I would not be here with a sound mind. I am in a much better space though. I have released so much. I feel lighter. Do I have my days where things creep in my mind, yes? Do I have days where I have to cry and pray my way through, yes? Do I have my days where I am in extreme warfare and worship is all can do, yes? BUT I am not the same because I allowed God into my heart and my mind to do a great work. I instantly go to what He taught me instead of allowing myself to sit in doubt. That’s why these last weeks of September have been better. I gave myself completely to God. It was like I was got saved all over again. I will be sharing different things I am doing that help me be intentional. I don’t know where you are, but maybe you can use the tips and the truth to help you. So, tell me what do you want to be intentional about in the fourth quarter?

This sermon speaks on the systems I talked about. This word changed my life.