Year 32

Last year I was driving home from work in pure silence. God told me very gently “You are not enjoying your life.” I was like excuse me! I truly thought I was. He said “You are so focused on the future. Where you want to be and where I have destined you to be. Then you look at where you are right now and how far you have to get to the life you desire, and you immediately become anxious. You start to take matters into your own hands. You stop enjoying the present moment to do a job that is not solely required of you.” He then reminded me that my big brother Jesus did not start His ministry until he was in His thirties. I cried and then laughed as I thought “why am I rushing then?” This rat race I am having with society and myself is pointless. 

My birthday was May 13th and this brings me to my word for year 32. Present!!! 

Present means now existing or in progress, being attentive. 

God wants me to be present for everything!

I am progressing with surrendering my timeline to God. 

I am being attentive in trusting in God and His plans for my life. 

I want to be present and enjoy where I am in life. 

I want to be present and attentive to myself and my journey.

I want to present and enjoy this ride of loving myself fully. 

I want to be present and take in my loved ones. 

I want to be present and aware of the progress I am making because I am growing in so many areas. When I focus on how far I have to get to a certain point or reach a dream I have, I downplay how far I have come. I honestly don’t want to do that anymore.

 I want to be present and bask in the endless joy that I have been praying for. 

This is going to take work because as my therapist told me I am so future focused. It’s not a bad thing, but it can be when I am constantly fixated on it. I am worth doing the work for. I owe it to myself to enjoy this beautiful life I have. So, this season is requiring me to be present and I am here for it! What has this season been requiring of you?